Awkwardly Amazed

Every time I hike with a friend of mine through the mountains of Armenia around my village I am completely overwhelmed by their beauty.

The rock formations, the rivers, the variety of plant and animal life – It all amazes me.

Often, however, when I try to take in the beauty of something like this I feel this awkward tension, like I'm scared I won't fully appreciate the moment and it'll pass before I can ever retain it.  I've experienced this my whole life, anytime I look at the stars, the ocean, or any other natural wonder.  I can't really explain this feeling without putting it into poetry:

Ocean, Stars, and God

Partially seeing, never grasping

Too great to consume

Leaving me empty

– Not quite empty –

Trust in acceptance

That what it is can not be mine

But belongs to all life

Because it is all life

Urge from the heart

To know it better, deeper

Ultimate connection, uninhibited intimacy

Stopped by fear

Caged freedom

Never knowing, having always known

Sink into it

Let it overcome

Sit inside the next moment

And be still. 

Because this uncanny tension arises from awe and wonder, I'll embrace it.  This process of turning something mysterious or difficult to understand into poetry mirrors the process of turning grapes into wine.  If we lean in and listen to what each challenge tries to teach us, we find meaning even in struggle.  This week I'm challenged to make poetry of every trial.

Weekly Grape:  Am I amazed by all that surrounds me?