Staring Into the Face of a Grape

Being part of a minority is hard anywhere.  In Armenia, if you are not Armenian, you are quite a sight to behold.  People will literally stop (even in their motor vehicles) and stare at you as you pass them on the street.  My 3rd grade students applaud when I enter the classroom.  Peace Corps in Armenia has definitely familiarized me with the well-known celebrity curse: lots of fame and attention but not a lot of privacy.  

It’s not a big deal unless the rest of my day deprives me of energy and I’m just too exhausted to shield my annoyance anymore.  But this minor irritation can’t bother me unless I let it bother me.  I know that I can choose whether or not the constant staring makes me crazy because we choose our thoughts like we choose our clothes.

But we can’t just smile and tell ourselves something (even as small as this) doesn’t bother us.  Even though I don’t like formulas, I think there’s a three-step process involved in pressing through grapes like this one in order to taste the wine:

1. Being honest with how we feel and analyzing the root of the irritation
2. Achieving a depth of understanding of why the issue might occur
3. Accepting the issue as something we can not change (if applicable) and loving through it

The constant staring annoys me because I’m not secure or comfortable enough with who I am.  People here do this because it’s extremely rare that they see people outside of their community and they’re not taught that staring is rude.

The problem of everyone knowing what I'm doing
at all times comes in handy when its move-in
day and I've recruited a bunch of helpers!

These thoughts have helped me come to peace with the staring and to change some of my behavior as well.  I also realized that this particular cultural trait reveals something fascinating about humanity: that we are very curious. We’re curious about a lot of things, and our minds and hearts are drawn to mystery.  When people see me walking down the street, it inspires wonder and awe in them (not because of my good looks, but because they probably wonder what the heck I’m doing here and why my shoes are so dirty).  It’s a good thing – not a flaw – that we should be so full of wonder, because it leads us to ask big questions.

So instead of dodging and recoiling under the pressure of peoples’ gaze, I’m challenged to take the opportunity to expose them to something different and hopefully show them that Americans can be confident, loving people.  This approach at least has to be better than the stare-off contest approach, because I’ve certainly never been able to win one of those with an Armenian. 

Weekly Grape:  Am I irritated by something I cannot change?